What Makes Us Whole?

What makes us whole? What gives us our worth?

These are some of life’s questions that have been answered since the birth of my daughter nine years ago. She was born with serious medical complications due to a genetic disorder. The first year of her life was spent keeping her alive, keeping her nourished, figuring out how to meet her many needs, and juggling impossible numbers of doctor and therapy appointments. There wasn’t much time to enjoy her babyhood. In the beginning, she was more a bundle of medical problems than a bundle of joy.

How does a mother bond with a bundle of medical problems?

Our daughter had an identity in our family long before her birth. We named her. We painted her room pink. We planned for her arrival. We shared her ultrasound photos with family and friends.

At the time, our son was six-years-old and the joy of our lives. If he had an accident or injury bringing about the same level of need and stripping him of his abilities, we would love him no less. In fact, we would fight to nurture the beauty and growth of his soul in spite of whatever limitations he may have.

If any one of us were disabled by illness or injury, we would still be the same person that we are today. Our souls would remain in tact. Our dignity and rights would remain the same. Our value would not change. Our inner selves, our souls, remain constant regardless of how our life circumstances change over time.

So it is with my daughter. Her soul is whole and beautiful. She is the same person we anticipated and welcomed into our family. The body carrying that soul is not as we expected. But she is the same. She is a whole, valuable human being with all of the rights and dignity as everyone else.

And so it is with all people – disabled or not, black or white, young or old, male or female, Catholic or Jewish, rich or poor. We are all valuable, worthwhile human beings just by virtue of being. Inside each of us is a soul holding all that is right with the world. When you see someone who is different, in any way, remember that their soul is the same as your soul. Their humanity is your humanity. We share one world and one human experience regardless of the specifics of our bodies and our circumstances. We are whole and valuable because we are.